It's a holiday... be sure to tell a Veteran, Thank you

There are no words that you can say to someone who has faced the terror,fear and death of war, if you have not. Just say thank you and let that be enough.

Here's a video I thought you might like... Happy Memorial Day to all

Hey Charlie Brown… there’s another way – by Michael Harris, PhD

Hey Charlie Brown… there’s another way – by Michael Harris, PhD

Have you ever known on of those guys (or girls) who were always “swinging for the fence”? You know that consistent “hero or the goat” mentality that frequently has them rebuilding after they have crashed and burned? Have ever wanted to tell them there is more than one way for them to succeed?

It probably isn’t their fault, you know. All you have to do is turn on your TV or go to a movie and the consistent theme is “All or Nothing”. We use this strategy for daily for almost everything in our lives. Our businesses, our intimate relationships and of course what would our sports be without the “hail mary pass” or bases loaded, full count?

I’m not saying that competition is bad or that there are situations in which the outcome comes down to a critical decision. I’m saying that we don’t have to live our lives creating that situation over and over as a way of life.

What might be useful is a little balance, some planning and some time management as another way to have a life that is far less stressful, causes fewer dis-ease(s) and heart attacks; and dare I say this, creates more FUN.

Here’s a list of 5 things to keep your life from being like an action movie

1. The 5 P’s
Proper Planning Precedes Peak Performance, it’s one of the best saying I ever learned. Plan your event, activity or personal performance. Practice it until you can do the activity (regardless) in any situation. One of the best ways to know that you’ve mastered something is that you can to that activity in more than one context.

2. Sleep on it
In our modern society, it still amazes me how little we use our intuition or our unconscious mind. If you have something you are trying figure out or decide make sure that you have given your mind time to relax and weigh the options. The answer will present itself and when it does ACT on it immediately. People might lie or tell half-truths, but your unconscious never will. Cultivate a relationship with the part of you that already knows all the answers.

3. Never Hurry
Wallace Wattles said “work as quickly as possible but never hurry”. It took a while for me to get that working quickly and hurrying are two completely different modes of operation. Only work as fast as you can maintain quality. As you get better, faster or more proficient you speed will continue to improve. Hurrying on the other hand is ineffective, it causes the respiration to be shallow, tenses the muscles and creates fatigue. This applies to any context.

4. Begin with the End in mind
When I was a kid, it always seemed like driving home from a place was faster than driving to a place. It’s the perception of the mind that makes that possible.
“Beginning with the end in mind”, means imagining your goal(s) or intention(s) as ready completed and you are standing on the other side of that goal enjoying the rewards of your effort. Working backward from the goal to the beginning will give your mind a different perspective and by working backward in your mind at night and working toward your goal during the day gives your mind two opportunities to side-step problems or pitfalls in your plan.

5. Just say “no”

Jim Camp, author of “Start with No” is a favorite of mine for this example. There are always going to be people who want you to do things on their schedule or to perform tasks designed to make the other person’s world just a little bit better. Remember that you always have choice about whom you spend time with, what you do, how you think and where you live.
If someone is trying to pressure you into making a decision, particularly a decision that affects you or your family and loved ones, long-term, then time is definitely on your side. Tell the other person who is pressuring you to make a decision that you will make a decision when it’s time and if they need an answer right now, then the answer is no. Don’t worry about saying “no”, when the universe closes on door, it opens another and usually that new door is better than you could have possibly imagined.

Conclusion

There is always time to get things done and completed with ample time for yourself, your family and your friends. Remember to breathe and stop taking life so seriously… you‘re never going to get out of here alive, so relax and have some fun; it makes others wonder what you’re up to.

Author Bio:

Michael Harris, PhD is a Clinical Hypnotherapist, Fitness, Life and Business Coach.  If you want more information or to schedule an appointment in person or by phone or Skype email (drm@drmichaelharris.com)

Click here to receive the FREE Audio book series “The Science of Getting Rich” by Wallace D. Waddles (http://forms.aweber.com/form/77/1458709877.htm)

The "No-Hitting" Rule in Question

I just got a phone call from my daughter's pre-school, apparently my daughter slapped a kid.
Upon deeper investigation, I was told that a little girl touched her face trying to get her attention and my daughter slapped her HARD. She now has a yellow ticket. I guess that's like a yellow card in soccer. So if she gets a RED card is out?

My question is, how did the other child touch her face? Was it a gentle glide across her cheek or did she grab my daughter by the face and turn her head? We will never know because the incident wasn't seen, only described by the two girls. This bring up the question of the "NO-HITTING" rule.

So much has been in the media about bullying I wonder is this where it starts? Do we create rules that are supposed to work in adult society but need a little modification to fit the undeveloped emotional minds of children? What is the definition of self-protection? Where are the boundaries?

There is a youtube video I posted a couple of months ago about a bully that was punching a kid until the "victim" kid picked him (the bully) up and slammed him on the ground. The video went viral. There are lots of opinions about the moral of this encounter but the short version is that kids are kids. they haven't the interaction skills that adults do and we have a responsibility to educate and protect our children.

So what's a parent to do? My first response was similar to what many might feel. that my child was defending herself and the other kid "got what she deserved". But how do I know that? My child will always be my favorite and I have to make sure that my personal bias isn't getting in the way. I also have to remember my martial arts training. The goal is always to prevent conflict or diffuse not escalate and that's not always easy.

For myself, I'm going to have a conversation with my daughter about this incident and get her perspective and I'd like to interview the other kid as well. My current position is that they are 4 years old and won't remember this tomorrow. But I still need to discuss it with her so she will know that I'm interested in how she feels about it and what can be done in the future.

So what can be done? Kids are never going to stop testing boundaries and there IS a pecking order in the school yard. I'm also going to introduce a program (http://www.ihsa.org/education/conflict_resolution.ppt) to the teachers and see if we can institute a mediation program into the school system. I also know that we need to get a "buy-in" from the parents or it's going to take longer to get this information into their little bones, if ever.

If we are going to live a world where there is conflict then we are going to have to find a way to solve it.
If we don't, we are going to have yet another generation that grew up the way we did and we will have yet another crop of bullies to deal with.

It one thing to talk about conflict resolution but it seems to me that until it gets personal, like with your own child, that you really don't know how it feels. I was surprised that my response was initially so visceral I can see how it's possible that people chose to do something other than consider long-term consequences. For me the long-term will always out-weigh the short-term, it's just how I'm wired.

The short version for conflict is:
If there is a problem remove yourself from that situation, as quickly as possible.
Tell someone and keep telling someones until you get resolution on the problem.

The FREE Power Point for this is right here.

If you want more information or to book an appointment with Michael Harris, PhD email

Discussion is for those who say, "What I say is right, and what you say is wrong." A sage never says such a thing hence, there is no discussion. - Bowl of Saki, May 24, by Hazrat Inayat Khan

"It's not what you do once in a while; it's what you do day in and day out that makes the difference." - Jenny Craig, Co-Founder of Jenny Craig Weight Loss

Last night's FREE Coaching Teleconference was exciting. If you missed it here's the recording - http://ping.fm/4gbNy

a great video from my friends Dan & Jennifer - http://ping.fm/GUkVt